The Crisco Incident

(The following is a true story - unfortunately).

Once upon a time (some years ago), there was a five year old little boy.  That little boy thought it would be a great idea to take a bottle of used cooking oil and pour it all over the dog.  That dog figured the boy was giving it something to eat.  That dog starts licking up the oil that is dripping onto the ground.  

That same dog then upchucks all the oil.  The mom watches (horrified) from the kitchen window once she notices what has transpired.  That mother has to go outside and clean up the oily dog vomit and then hose down the dog.  Hosing down the dog does not get out all the oil from its fur.  She proceeds to shampoo the dog for the next two hours to try to get rid of all the oil in the dogs fur - even then the dog smelled like old french fries for the next two weeks.  

That little boy was in BIG TIME trouble.  

That mother was left exhausted.

What a cruel, cruel joke that humans are made in a way that the young ones (who have no clue) possess boundless amounts of energy and the adults have barely enough energy to keep up with them.  

My question - Has your kid(s) ever caused this kind of mess, or am I just blessed with a special kind of child hellion?


Sian said...

haha so funny, well not for you at the time presumably but for your 5 year old! You make a good point about unfair distribution of energy levels. Someone needs to petition the energy gods or something, I could def use a little more energy! My boys haven't quite reached levels of pour oil on our cat...yet! But they will. Thanks for your comment on my blog. I can already tell I'm going to love your blog too! x

Vapid Vixen said...

I was babysitting a two year old and it was nap time. I was so relieved that is was going so well this time. He was so quiet for a change. But he's NEVER quiet. Something was amiss. I peeked my head in and his crib, walls, bedding and his entire little self were covered in baby butt cream. Awesome. He really looked adorable though. And I think it was much easier to clean than used cooking oil. Freaking awful!!!

Pickleope said...

That's hilarious, not for you of course, but for the casual reader, good stuff. I give it up to him for ingenuity.
As a child, all in one day, I shot the neighbor with a pellet gun, broke our window with a baseball, and self-cut my hair. My poor mom didn't know where to begin with punishment.

Johi said...

What? you don't enjoy extra work just for the sake of keeping busy? Weird.
I'll have you know that my children reduce me to tears a lot. Sometimes daily. I used to like cleaning. Now I loathe it. I should also tell you here that I am actually a horse/dog person. Or I used to be before I started hating everything that requires me to care for it. Hahahah. Just kidding. Not really. This dog/oil situation seems very normal to me.

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

That's awesome! We've had some amazing oil incidents. It's so hard to clean up. Luckily, we don't have a dog. :)

KSK said...

Oh man! My daughter isn't old enough to do REALLY bad things... but when she's quiet, I know she's being a turd. i.e. pulling out the socket covers and eating them. What safe products THEY are!

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