At This Very Moment

This is going to be stream of consciousness post.  And for that, I apologize in advance. In order to publish this quickly I probably won't take the time to proofread my work, nor publish any special drawing interpretation.  Instead, I'll just be lazy and post a picture of me blowing my bubble gum (I rarely do this by the way).  Not chew gum but post current pics of myself on this blog.  I can't help it though, how awesome is that bubble?  I mean, really.


As I sit here waiting on our furnace guy to show up and do our quarterly furnace check I decide to fart around and view some youtube videos.  I like the show "Oddities" on the Discovery Channel.  If you are ever in doubt that there are aliens who live among us, then after watching this show you will be rethinking that stance.

My all time favorite alien is Edgar.
If you have a hard time viewing the embed video below here is the link to the video on youtube.

Isn't he wonderfully creepy? Apparently Edgar is some NYC playwright (likely story) that everyone is supposed to know.  He has his own Wiki page.  He is most eccentric. He speaks like the owner of a dilapidated Victorian home at the end of your street that all the neighborhood kids are scared to pass on their way to school. All kids but me. I love this shit. I know, I know - his voice has pedophile or sexual deviant written all over it. I will pass his house and wave at him while walking on by. I won't go up there, I'm not a complete idiot. But there's no reason to be rude to the guy for being an alien. He's probably just here on this Earth to study human behavior and I refuse to have him report back to his superior that miniature humans are skittish and there would be no problem for hostile takeover.

I am brought out of my daydream and remember that I have a complete stranger getting ready to come into my home. Most people would be a little freaked out after having watched Edgar the Alien. Maybe that is why I am odd. I guess I am missing that part of a person that should be a little skeeved at such things. Truth be told I fear the man coming to my home for no other reason but that I don't know him. It goes against my very soul to open up the door to anyone I don't know. I sit here contemplating how I plan to take down this would be assailant if he tries anything squirrely. Steeler the dog is useless. Oh, he'll bark when the guy knocks or rings the doorbell, you can be certain. As soon as the man walks in the door and even tries to pet the shedding fur ball, Steeler won't growl. No, instead he'll cower and piss all over my hard wood floors. That is why I am forced to lock him up as soon as I know someone is coming into my home. Guard dog, Steeler is not.

My mind starts to wander (as per usual) and I think of this person coming into my home and how he should also be worried about entering someone's home with no clue how this person is going to act.  Even though he does this day in, day out - I can't imagine it would get easier.  There has to be instances where people have called to complain on him and his services, there has got to be occurrences where the person tries something inappropriate with him.  Or maybe not, I over think things and am paranoid about situations. 

My mind wanders further and I start to worry that my house may have a weird smell to this stranger.  Inhabitants of a home don't really realize the smell of their home.  The only time you notice your "Home Scent" is when you have been gone for a few days and then come back.  Your nose memory has cleansed itself.  You truly get the smell as soon as you walk in the door, that could be good or bad.  It's like trying to smell your own breath to see if it smells bad.  You can't do it really.  You can try to put your hands over your mouth like a cup and breathe out and then immediately smell but you don't really get the true affect.  Your breath has to be putrid enough to waft up your nose to really get a clue you have bad stank breath.  Otherwise, if you just have mediocre breath you can't really know unless someone tells you so.

I resort to candles being lit all around my house in hopes of bombarding this stranger's nose with random smells that have nothing to do with the actual scent of my home.  Who the hell actually has apple pie baking at 11:00 am on a Monday?  This isn't 1950 suburbia.  He walks down the stairs to the basement and his nose goes from baked apples to Oriental Amber Wood.  He gets nose confused.  How can one home smell like fruit but minutes later like the backyard of rural China?  Wait, the backyard of rural China may not smell pleasant after all, I'm not sure.  No offense to anyone who may take offense.  For all I know rural Chinese backyards smell wonderful.  Do they?  Please someone let me know because now I am insanely curious.

As for my home, it smells like the silk flower and candle section of a Hobby Lobby and I suppose that's not altogether a bad thing.  But it does feel like I am cheating on life and should let people know the real family that lives here.  But who really does that?  Aliens that's who.  Edgar the Alien is the only one (of few) who let their inner weird out, warts and all.  If only we took the time to go up to Edgar's door, knock and go inside.  We would smell the intoxicating scent of rotten decay and alien farts but you know what, it's truth.

(Don't knock on Edgar the Alien's door, please.  I'm only joking.  He may be a maniac).

Here is Edgar's actual blog.  I foresee a late night in my future filling my head with the awesomeness that is Edgar.  I will never be the same and nor should I be.  Life forever changed by the man down the street in the Victorian home.

Final Question:  What does your home really smell like?  You don't know, do you?  You will tell me some artificial smell, right?


Halina said...

Thank you for leaving a nice comment on Moments of a Libra

Haha! Edgar is so whimsical and creepy in a funny way :)Amazing what you can be introduced to through the web! Thank you for the tip.

Pickleope said...

It's fun to see your brain meander and make connections going from creepy antique lovers to the smell of your home.
My home smells like a summer day after a rain...and alien farts.

Sian said...

Very funny. I hope you survive your encounter with the stranger/furnace guy but if not, at least you know you house smelled nice at the time lol also the Alien dude...Freaky!!!

Also great bubble gum shot, had to be shown ;)

Vapid Vixen said...

Snowberry Scentsy for me. This was quite the random post but I really liked it. You have quite a bit going on in the noggin of yours. And the bubble...most impressive! said...

Honestly, the best thing about the bubble gum picture? Your expression. It's a mix of 'I don't give a fuck' and 'bow down to the awesomeness of the bubble-queen.' Probably a 60/40 mix.

My artificial home smell is mostly a watermelon candle I found at a local craft store. Yes, dude in a craft store... the real smell is a mix of dust, pets, and shame.

Tonya the Hobo Girl said...

The Kardashians have that same scent! Only remove dust and pets and substitute the smells - desperation & krusty spray tanner.

Thanks by the way...that bubble is a shiny and proud moment for me.

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