Is lung expulsion covered by health insurance?

I have been trying to lose weight. I lost a pound this week!

It all goes downhill from here.

My family has been awesome and I told them I would pick up fast food dinner for them as a treat. What the heck was I thinking?  I drove the half hour home with fast food smell surrounding my senses.  It was like my own personal Lost smoke monster.  I stood strong though.  I came home, threw the bags on the table, and got to cooking some chicken and veggies.  I scowled at them the whole time.  By them I mean both the family and the chicken/veggies.  At that moment in time those humans and food were trying to ruin me. When, actually, it was my own fault; apparently I am a master at deflecting fault.

I have been having pretty bad gas pains every morning when I get to work.  I work in an office and having gas is the equivalent of being caught picking your nose on a jumbotron at a sports event.  It's kind of hard to hide.  I knew it had to be something I was eating and wanted to think it was the yogurt. Turns out it is my morning fiber extravaganza. Hrmph. I eat my Fiber One chewy bar every morning for breakfast.  I have come to really enjoy and rely on that chewy bar to get me through the morning.  It is sweet and I don't get many sweets these days.  Well, apparently, fiber is healthy for me but causes gas like a champ.  I now have a dilemma; do I give up my morning chewy bar or continue eating it?  I got them on sale and have a huge inventory in my pantry!!  So now I suppose I'll have to start taking some beano before I have them.  Double hrmph.

Month two my goal is upping my exercise routine.  A friend of mine sends me a treadmill exercise plan that she says burns calories and increases stamina.  Sounds great since my only treadmill exercise has been walking.  Up until I got her routine I had been getting on my treadmill daily and I happily beepity boppity walk to the tune of "Lose My Breath" by Destiny's Child.  I get in my zone and I actually believe that I should have people pay me to lead them through the "power of the walk".  So, of course, I think I am up for the "running" of the treadmill exercise plan.  I thought about explaining what happened next but I think it is much more understandable in crudely drawn pictures. (FYI. I am not a ten year old girl as these drawings would suggest).

Here I am in the first five seconds of "the run"!

And here I am just minutes later.... 

As you can see my first experience into incorporating running into my treadmill routine didn't go as I had hoped. :(

I remain hopeful, but cautious.  Learning is an important part of a lifestyle change and I have learned I have my strengths and weaknesses.  My strength is willpower with eating; my weakness, obviously, is running.  Well, maybe it isn't running, but being able to keep my lung from escaping my body at the first sign of increased physical exertion.

(Please note: The other lung, not on the floor, in picture #2 is still hidden in my chest cavity laughing and pointing at her sister for being inferior.)